In the words of John Coffey from The Green Mile...I's Tired Boss.

It has been a while since I have done a blog post and clearly having enough time is not the issue! I remember reading the infamous Brene Brown covid post a few months ago where she talked about how our adrenaline could not outpace this pandemic. She begins by explaining to us as readers that normally when we are faced with a crisis, our body goes to work for us to protect and this is paired with lots of energy, adrenaline and what she calls the “super coping surge”. She explains that these are not normal times, most of us have not experienced a crisis (of this sort) lasting this long in our lifetimes and we just hit a point where we are tired, exhausted, weak in our bones. There is perhaps some beauty highlighted in the fact that this struggle is collective, which is such a stark contrast to the way we “do life” in western society, and this shift for myself personally has been very meaningful. There has been this beautiful coming together of people to protect, respect, and support one another. 

I can remember back to the first couple of weeks where as a parent I was ready to take on whatever was coming. Despite covid being devastating and ugly, I was oddly somewhat excited for the time and space to have almost nothing in my way of being present with my kids. I would love to have a video of the first few weeks where I was “super mom” and I was doing new crafts every day, teaching my kids new skills, and I had patience (no really, I did!), I was taking time to slow down and read, walk, bake, and engage in more self care. My current “videotape” is quite the contrast, brace yourself cause it’s a wild ride! You might see a frantic mom making super quick meals (whoever says it's unhealthy to eat cheese and crackers for 3 meals a week can shove it!). The day typically starts off and ends with screaming toddlers and babies in the background while peppa pig offers some momentary relief in the chaos, and somehow there is a mountain of laundry that never seems to disappear. I love that meme going around that says something along the lines of how angry a mom is watching her children and husband selfishly walk around clothed after a day of doing laundry, it is legit! Although there are many days and moments where I still drum up enough energy to be that super mom it just takes far more effort and sacrifice now. Now a few months later, as I reflect back on Brene Brown’s post I can  confirm that she is 100% on the money! We are tired, I am tired. I am tired at times to my core and that my friends,is OK! It is OK to have moments or even days when we aren’t our best selves. Our only option is either to radically accept that this the hand we are dealt in 2020 and be compassionate and kind to ourselves and one another, or we can fight it so hard “shoulding” all over ourselves for the things that we didn’t get to that day, week, or month and wishing that things would just be different. Wishing that we could have the freedom to see our loved ones, hug them without anxiety creeping in or judgement from others, freedom to go about our day without wearing a mask or excessively sanitizing, and freedom to gather in groups again which is so necessary for many of us as social beings. Kudos to those moms, dads, spouses, and  bosses that have maintained patience and peace throughout, and to those who haven’t, I see you, I feel you, and it is OK.